Sunday, June 10, 2012

Limitation of disgrace in marriage



There is no ivory that is not cracked. That is the proverbial sentence that might be the most appropriate to be used as a principle when trying to determine a partner. In fact, sometimes each of the clean parties insists on maintaining the principle of perfectionits idealism, which actually extends the life of the single.

On the other hand, there are also couples who marry through a very short ta'aruf process or ta'aruf process with very limited data. After the screen expands, each of them knows each other's character and character, various problems arise. Even if someone feels cheated with their partner. Maybe we've met a husband who returned his wife to his parents, because he felt there was a big disgrace to his wife, and vice versa.


Well, so that this kind of thing is not overreacted, we need to know what the disgrace is in marriage, so that when this disgrace is not mentioned in the ta'aruf process, each party has the right to choose whether to continue or separate.


In the Islamic Fatwa, a question and answer, a question is asked, that there is a woman who experiences ovariectomy, does he have to tell the prospective husband who asked for his hand?


Shaykh Muhamad Sholeh Al-Munajed described:

If ovariectomy what he experiences does not prevent him from having children, because the other ovaries are still functioning properly so he is not obliged to notify the man who asked for his hand. Because the boundaries of disgrace in marriage that are required to be conveyed in the ta'aruf process are all circumstances that can cause the loss of the 3 main purposes of marriage, namely mut'ah (pleasure), khidmah (service), and injab (not barren). However, this kind of thing should be conveyed to people who apply, to avoid the emergence of various further problems, because the husband feels that his wife's attitude includes fraud. (Islamic Fatwa: Sual-responsible, no. 125910).

Furthermore, he points out the statement of Sheikh Muhammad bin Sholeh Al-Utsaimin:

Aib is all circumstances that eliminate the main purpose of marriage. And it is understood together that the main objectives include mut'ah (pleasure), khidmah (service), and injab (not barren). These three things are the most important goals. If there are circumstances that hinder the three things above then that includes defects. Therefore, if a wife finds her husband turned out to be barren or her husband finds his wife barren then this is a disgrace. Or the husband just found out that his wife was blind and this was a disgrace, because a blind couple would reduce the two goals of marriage, mut'ah (pleasure) and khidmah (service). Similarly, when the husband found out that his wife was deaf or mute, this also included disgrace.

However, if the husband finds out that his wife's teeth have a problem, even though he is still young, this does not include disgrace. Because this kind of disgrace might be eliminated. While the husband's need for his wife's teeth is a perfection of beauty, and it is still possible to have the best teeth installed. For this reason, if someone asks: If there is a husband who just found out that his wife is not beautiful, but there is no disability as mentioned above, can the husband submit a divorce to the court? Answer: Not entitled. Unless the husband requires it in front.


Because that is right, disgrace in marriage is not limited in number to certain numbers, but he is limited by certain rules, that everything that eliminates the main purpose of marriage, even if it is not perfect marriage, includes disgrace, which allows for suffrage. Both for husband and wife. (As-Syarhul Mumthi ', 12: 220 – 221)

Allahu a'lam

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Author: Ustadz Ammi Nur Baits


Muslimah/The Truth Seeker Media

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