Friday, June 29, 2012

Friendship Ethics

Friendship Ethics

Friends are reminders.
Reminder to stay strong when you face an exam.

Reminder for istiqamah when kindness starts to be doubted.
A reminder to be willing to share life.
Because until whenever, friends will need each other.
To remind each other.

When at school Ratih never thought, that a friend who accompanied her through periods of grief together, one day will turn away and be reluctant to hear each other's outpouring of hearts. And this morning, Ratih arrived at the office with mixed thoughts. Alika, her best friend started high school until 2 years ago fate brought them back to work, suddenly changed attitude.

At first, Ratih was happy to meet Alika in the basement during the afternoon. Ratih would have lunch in the canteen, then was surprised by Alika's greeting which turned out that she had only been placed in the company for a week in the same building. Surprise for Ratih who just returned from an official trip out of town. Ruth's spirit of work began to improve, because there was Alika where she shared everything from problems at work to family problems. Likewise for Alika, not infrequently he asked Ratih's opinion about the environment in his new office, even the economic problems he was facing with his husband he told Ratih.


Until one day Alika told Ratih if she met her old friend while in college, and also explained that the attention of her male friend who had just graduated exceeded her husband's attention to Alika. Spontaneously, Ratih reminded Alika to be careful with her male friends, because their closeness could cause new problems that exacerbated the problems she was facing with her husband. Not to mention Alika has been blessed with 3 children who still need the focus of Alika to share the attention of their growth and development.
But Alika only gave Ratih a reason, if her male friend was only a place for discussion because of an old friend who had been close since the beginning of college.


Until that afternoon in the canteen where he used to eat lunch with Alika, he told me that her husband had filed a divorce case with a religious court. Ratih was shocked, because previously she told one of the elders from their extended family to mediate that Alika's household would be intact. But the will said something else, their problem had arrived at the religious court.


Not to mention the problem with her husband is over, Alika has even had an unusual relationship with his male friend whom he once told me about. And what is very unfortunate is that their closeness is seen up to the workplace. Where Alika went home and went to the office escorted by the friend of the man. Ratih once tried to invite Alika from heart to heart regarding her attitude in the office that had invited slander, but Alika's fact was to stay away and keep a distance from Ratih.


But Ratih is still not bored besides Alika, just encouraging when the divorce session takes place or when other office friends stay away from him. For Ratih, as long as there is still time and time to invite Alika to do good, she will do it. Although this is difficult and requires multiplicity when Alika ignores it. Regardless, Ratih will pray for Alika because that is the easiest thing for her to do so that God will knock Alika's heart.


* * *

Friend is a mirror

Being a good mirror is certainly not easy. Science and faith are needed, so that it is easy for others to reflect 'well', or a mirror that easily absorbs the light of goodness from another mirror and emits a light of its goodness. It is also necessary to practice worship in studying and managing faith so that the self deserves to be a mirror for fellow Muslim women.
Being a good mirror is of course influenced by many things. For example trusteeship, which means honest if given trust and responsibility, does not indulge in the privacy mandate of fellow believers, or others who mean that although they have different beliefs, there is a right that they must keep.

Another thing is to be willing to share, share what is capable of sharing, for example when his friend needs help. Can share time with him when he is sad, even though friends are far away, we can still accompany him, through telephone or social media can be an alternative solution to bring us closer to friends who are in need of our existence as a place to pour hearts, a place to ask for positive thinking in completing problems that are being faced, or just providing ears to be willing to listen. Or maybe by sharing material. For this one, doesn't Allah command us to give alms both in the field and in the narrow.


Friends are mutually reinforcing.

"A believer in other believers is like a building where the parts strengthen other parts." (HR, Muslim. No 4684)
The Prophet SAW preferred his powerful people to the weak. Physical strength and ruhiyah. That when we are strong, we will be easier to strengthen others when others are weak.

The strong opposite is weak, how can we strengthen others, if we ourselves are weak. Then it is important for Muslim women to strengthen faith, root the knowledge in the soul, heart and mind. So that we do make ourselves and others stronger, stronger in facing everyday problems. Shared obligation if fellow has difficulty, we help make it easier so that difficulties are quickly resolved. Especially if those who experience difficulties are brothers and sisters.


Still remember the disaster that befell our country in the last few years, starting from the tsunami of Aceh and parts of West Java, earthquakes in Padang to Merapi lava or the suffering experienced by our brothers in Gaza, or in parts of the area that may have escaped our attention. The heart feels sliced ​​if we are only able to witness their suffering through the news on television. Even though we are far from them, we can help ease their burden. Because it is near or far, we must strengthen each other, both through the help of the moriil, material until the prayer does not end for them. Well, especially if you experience a disaster or a neighbor in your environment.


In ethical issues in the social sphere, strengthening faith is very important. So that it is not forgotten that the norms of social life are run, and keep reminding each other so that the brotherhood remains intact. And manage yourself to be heartened if you, friends or friends remind you in kindness.

So being a strong servant of God is very important, so that the self is more useful for the people.

And it becomes a joint task to strengthen the ties of Ukhuwah to be even tighter. Because only together, good will be conveyed.


Friends are "guarding" each other.

There is a piece of boneless meat that can break the cordial relationship, destroying a sense of trust and undermining honesty. The meat is called tongue. Yes, the tongue where the mouth is spoken. Sometimes this inexperienced oral is easily slipped, especially if our environment is full of women who love to corner at an angle and discuss other people's problems, or even spread issues and false news. Then where should we be? What if they talk about one of our close friends?

In any position we are very good, as long as we do not add to the atmosphere of the gibbons getting warmer, position as neutral as possible. It would be better if you bring the conversation no longer leads to the topic of talking about A or B and being prejudiced about who is being discussed. And don't forget to tabayyun, clarifying if the news leads to untruth. It must also be aware that each of us must maintain the disgrace of fellow believers. Our task is also to remind friends who are trending their topic of conversation. Mutual self-reflection, why the issue is easily developed. Isn't there no smoke, if there is no fire.


Do not stay away if a friend is changing or wants to be alone, still accompany even though from afar. Keep on praying for your friends, because until whenever we will need each other a friend.

Fimadani/The Truth Seeker Media

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