Friday, June 8, 2012

It's Time for Parents to Stop uni Poison ’Children

It's Time for Parents to Stop 'Poisoning' Children

As usual, as a family health doctor at PKPU, a licensed national humanitarian institution Ecosoc UN (United Nations), I was assigned to run a child and adolescent health program at the Children's Prison in Tangerang.


After interacting with the children in the prison a number of times, I became more comfortable, able to communicate and conduct health programs for children and adolescents well. This is because, there is tremendous support from state servants who are on duty in the child's prison.

While doing a health program, my mind wondered what was the reason why children who were on average 10 years to 16 years old could be put into this child's prison.

So, in the next health program session, in the form of direct physical and psychological health consultations, I made several questions that must be answered by children.

Among the questions it reads as follows: Do children know where they live and what are their names? Most of them know and answer that they live in a child prison.
Next question, why do children have to live in this child's prison? Some children answered that he had made a mistake and it was proper for him to stay in a child prison.


Indeed, he was born to be an impudent child, a thief, pickpocket, a child who likes fights and many other "titles". I say that these children are good children, can do good and can achieve for their future.


With confidence, they returned to convey the "titles" above and added that their parents or father / mother often said "titles" many times. There was even a child who said that he was no longer worthy of being his parents' child because his mother said that he was an ungodly child and would definitely go to hell! Astaghfirullah ..


The Indonesian Golden Family friend, from the story above reminds me of an article entitled The Toxic Words (Toxic Words). This article, although only a few sheets, is the result of interviews with children in prison. The researcher invited the children to "remember" what happened before they entered the prison. Then, he compiled word by word into a group of words that were thought to deliver the children into prison.


The arrangement of the words is referred to as The Toxic Words (Toxic Words).

It's true, that children who enter the prison in their daily lives often get bad words that concern themselves, such as:
"You! It's a bad luck kid!"
"You always bother your parents!"
"You are a damned child! Surely your life will be miserable!"
And there are many other bad words.
Then, what is the connection between bad words and bad children's behavior?

When I study NLP (Neuro Linguistic Programming), my supervisor says that humans do the process of thinking in three ways namely first, Visual Thinking is to think with the way we make a picture in our mind. Second, Auditory Thinking is thinking by the way we do internal dialogue (self-talk). Third, Kinesthetic thinking is thinking by involving our feelings or emotions.

My mentor also said that the picture of one's future turned out to be predictable from the things he believed. When we believe in something, all the "resources" in our body to the smallest level of cells will support what we believe.

And for the most part, a belief is formed from the behavior seen and the words he hears every day, especially those concerning us. If bad behavior or bad words are often received, then it can be ascertained slowly but surely that bad behavior will be realized and vice versa.


This is the answer, why do children often commit life violations so that they must feel life in prison. When his parents say too often that you are an impudent child, you are indeed a jinx child or other bad words, slowly he will believe that he is an impudent child, he is an unlucky child and finally he becomes an impudent behavior.


Really, if I discuss a problem like this I feel horrified, sorry, seeing the facts above very often around us.

There are still very many parents who, when they scold their children, come out with all the poisonous words like that. If that is the case, about who is wrong, a badly behaved child or a parent who is wrong in teaching children to do good?

The teachings of our Prophets say that children are a mandate from God that we must prepare so that he becomes a human being who excels in the world and in the hereafter.

Therefore, I myself am also recalling how many bad words have been said to my children, to my wife. Really, it feels terrible when we know the impact of these bad words, like "poisons" that are ready to kill our children.
Killing human nature as a spiritual creature created by God, which has tremendous potential in him. So, the best solution is to be serious about how we change our thinking and attitude from violence to love.

For the Muslim community, the means of fasting, especially in the month of Ramadan, are the most appropriate means to make that change.

Why? Because fasting (Ramadhan) is one of the "products" of God as the most appropriate means to "reprogram" ourselves. From those who are usually easy to berate their children to being gentle words, from the bad to good, from the good to the better, like the message of our Prophet that "Fasting is a shield."

When one of you is fasting, let him not say bad words and do not fool others. Whenever someone comes to blame, let him say: "I'm fasting, I'm fasting."


Fimadani/The Truth Seeker Media

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